Whaaaat?
by Winter Jackson
Summary: In which Percy manages to read a very popular, very long, very Sirius series, Annabeth hasn't a clue what Percy, Piper, and Frank are laughing at, and many inside jokes are brought up. Humorous oneshot.


**I'm so sorry, but this popped into my head and it was too funny to resist... Unrealistic, perhaps, but funny...**

Piper and Leo stood there, wide-eyed, as Percy and Annabeth argued over something that may or may not have killed him. 'Him', being Percy Jackson.

"You could have been _killed_!" Annabeth screeched, waving her arms around for emphasis, her blonde hair flying.

Percy, also being the completely ADHD person he is, muttered, "Or worse, _expelled_!"

Piper's face reddened as she got the reference and stifled her laughter. Then, she couldn't hold it in and started laughing hysterically. Percy grinned at her. Annabeth and Leo looked at the pair like they had gone batty. Annabeth, distracted and _thoroughly_ confused, said intelligently: "Uh, what?"

Piper gasped for breath, sounding like a choking seal. Leo gave her an even stranger look. Percy looked at his girlfriend, wide-eyed. "The _one_ series I sucked it up and read because this guy has it _worse_ than me, and _you haven't read it_."

Annabeth stared at him like he'd grown three heads. "_You_? You _read a book_?!" Her voice came perilously close to squeaking.

"A whole series," Percy confirmed, biting his lip at the pun he was about to make. "A very Sirius series."

Piper started laughing so hard she couldn't breathe. Leo edged away from her.

Percy managed to keep a solemn face as he said: "A very, very Sirius series."

Piper was slowly turning purple. Leo was looking weirded out, Annabeth was so confused, and Percy had followed Piper into gasping for air between laughs.

"No wood!" Piper squeaked.

"Well are you a witch or not!" Percy roared with laughter. "Can't you see Repair Boy doing that?!"

Piper, if it was even possible, laughed harder.

"What in Hades is going on?!" Annabeth yelled, confused beyond belief.

Their laughing fits tapered off eventually. "Hey Percy?"

"Yeah?"

"You do know that could do as a stunt double for Harry? You know, black hair, green eyes?"

Percy shrugged, grinning. "Really, there isn't that much of a difference: he got poisoned with Basilisk poison, I got pit scorpion poison. He got the Chamber of Secrets, I got the Underworld. He got the Philosopher's Stone to retrieve, I got the Master Bolt. And that's just the _First,_ or Second with the Basilisk thing,years. Oh, and we were both eleven. Ish."

The other three gaped at him.

"_Pit scorpion_?!" Piper shrieked.

"Who the heck is Harry?!" Annabeth yelled.

"Dude, you had to retrieve the Master Bolt from the Underworld?!" Leo exclaimed.

Percy laughed. "In order, yes, Piper, pit scorpion poison, I still have the scar on my hand, Harry is Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived, and basically anti-Moldyshorts, and yes, Leo, Annabeth, Grover, and I had to go to the Underworld to get the Master Bolt...sort of. Something like that."

Piper stifled a laugh at Percy butchering Voldemort's name.

"What kind of name is Moldyshorts?" Leo said, looked disgusted.

Piper looked thoughtful. "Yeah, that reminds me, how the heck did J.K. Rowling come up with _Hogwarts_ for a _school name_?"

"Sounds like a child of Ares named it," Annabeth muttered. "Or Mars. Whoever."

* * *

Annabeth panicked a little as she looked at the birthday present for Piper in her hands. Percy watched her, amused. "Where do I hide it?!" she whisper-yelled panickedly.

"With the goblins," Percy said dryly. "She'll know it's there, you know, but she won't be able to get to it."

Annabeth looked at him, exasperated. "Be serious, for once! Please!"

Percy grinned, and Annabeth groaned, recognizing that face. "I am being serious. Very, very Sirius."

"Oh, shut up, Harry-Potter-fangirl," Annabeth muttered.

Percy finally sighed and neatly plucked the present from Annabeth's grasp, balancing it on top of the wide bunk post, hidden in the shadows. "You know the entire Periodic Table, the multipulcation tables up to forty-five—sorry, forty-six—how to get your boyfriend out of life-threatening situations, and you panic when you have to hide a present?"

"Oh, just..._shut up_."

Percy just snickered.

* * *

Annabeth looked bewildered at the fairly hefty package Percy was holding. "Percy...what is that?"

Percy frowned. "It is your birthday, right?" he checked. "February sixth?"

"Percy, you really didn't have to—"

"Oh, don't worry, I really want to give you this," Percy said fondly. "Plus, it would make joking a whole lot easier if you actually _got_ some of my jokes instead of having to go to Piper or Frank. Happy Birthday, Wise Girl. Oh, and, a little warning about the box: Jerk your hand away quickly when you lift it up. I had Travis and Conner booby trap it so that people would back off if they tried to take them. And believe me, I've woken up to screaming before."

Annabeth laughed a little, tearing off the wrapper. Inside was a box. It looked old, battered, but in a good way, like it had been a loved piece. Cautiously, she lifted up the lid, jerking her hand away instantly, and very glad she did so as the box grew teeth and gnashed its jaws together four or five times before swinging open.

"The teeth are actually made out of foam, so if you don't get your hand out of the way fast enough, it's okay," Percy said, grinning at her shocked face. "You'll get the joke once you read the series. And then you'll have to resist laughing every time you look at it."

"Percy, that's a little...extreme, isn't it?" Annabeth asked hesitantly, peeking in the box.

She looked at her boyfriend and sighed. "Nevermind. Nothing is extreme in your fandom, huh?"

Percy laughed.

* * *

"There's no wood!" Leo said, frustrated, poking at the coals. Percy covered his mouth with his hand, and Annabeth turned her head into Percy's chest. Piper's face turned red, and Frank was biting his lip. Jason was like "...uh, what did I miss?" and Hazel was confused at the various reactions.

"No wood..." Percy said slowly, mirth warming his voice.

"Well are you a fire user or not!" Piper said, laughter ringing in her voice.

Leo scratched his head, finally looking up at the rest of the Seven. He groaned. "_Seriously_?"

The four grinned. "Yes, Leo, we are being very _Sirius_," Piper said.

"Seriously going to start calling you the Mauraders..." Jason muttered, shaking his head.

"We're no where near as bad as them," Percy said mischeiviously.

"That was NOT a challenge!" Jason yelped.

Percy deflated.

**A/N:**

**Wow...I can't believe that I'm finally getting around to reading HP. Please note that I'd just finished the second book when I wrote this two days ago (I'm now on the _fourth_ book...I'm on the Pensive chapter...seriously starting to wonder if Riordan and Rowling got together and came up with the same character to be written in different ways...). PLEASE DON'T GIVE ME SPOILERS!**

**Anyway. See ya!**

**-Winter**


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